Ladies, this one's all yours
We talk a lot about men on this blog. Erections, stamina, performance. But today we're changing the channel.
This one is for you. Not for him, not for "keeping the marriage spicy". Just for you.
Because here's something nobody told most of us growing up: your pleasure matters just as much. Not as a nice extra once everything else is done. As a priority.
"I love him, I just don't feel like it"
Sound familiar? You're definitely not the only one.
Work deadlines, school lunches, the WhatsApp group that never sleeps, the to-do list that lives rent-free in your head. By 9pm, the only thing you want to get into is your pyjamas.
That's not you being "cold" or "broken". It's your body and your brain being honest about how tired they are.
Desire doesn't always arrive first
This one is a game-changer for a lot of women.
We're taught that desire works like the movies: you see him, sparks fly, you want him. That's called spontaneous desire, and some people do have it.
But many women experience responsive desire. That means the wanting shows up after things get started: after a slow kiss, a back rub, a bit of closeness without pressure. Not before.
If you've ever thought, "I didn't feel like it, but once we got going I was so glad we did", that's responsive desire. Nothing is wrong with you. Your engine just needs a bit of warming up, like a bakkie on a Highveld winter morning.
What can dim your spark
- Stress and the mental load. It's hard to feel sexy when you're mentally planning tomorrow's lift club.
- Hormonal changes. Pregnancy, breastfeeding, your cycle, perimenopause and menopause can all change your libido.
- Medication. Some antidepressants, contraceptives and blood pressure medication can affect desire.
- Body confidence. Feeling self-conscious makes it hard to relax and enjoy the moment.
- Relationship stuff. Unresolved arguments rarely stay outside the bedroom door.
5 ways to put yourself first
1. Get to know what you like. You can't ask for what you want if you don't know what it is. Exploring your own body is healthy, normal and nothing to be shy about.
2. Say it out loud. Tell your partner what feels good and what doesn't. A good partner wants to know. (Guys reading over her shoulder: yes, we mean you.)
3. Ask for more time. Foreplay isn't optional. If you need longer to warm up, that's how bodies work, not a problem to rush through.
4. Share the load. Sometimes the sexiest thing he can do is the dishes. Seriously. Less on your plate leaves more room for fun.
5. Make room for pleasure. Schedule a date night, book a weekend away, or simply lock the door and leave your phone in the kitchen.
We made Takbokkie #meerlekker because women deserve a booster of their own. It's a sugar-free blend of natural botanical ingredients made to support healthy libido, sensitivity and a more responsive intimate experience.
Take 2 capsules with water and give it time: it starts working within 24 hours. Don't take more than 2 capsules in any 24-hour period. As with any natural supplement, everybody's experience is a little different.
Think of it as your bestie in the bedroom: there to help you feel more like yourself again.
When to talk to your doctor
If your libido has dropped suddenly, sex is painful, or you're feeling low most of the time, please chat to your GP or gynae. These things are common, treatable, and you deserve proper support.
Your desire isn't a switch that's either on or off. It's something you're allowed to explore, protect and enjoy. You deserve to feel confident, connected and lekker in your own skin.
You first, sis. #meerlekker
This article is for informative purposes only and is not medical advice. Always consult your medical practitioner if you have concerns about your sexual health or before taking any new supplement, especially if you are pregnant, breastfeeding or on medication.